| 15 September 2009
The following Facepalms have been awarded to the following Detroit Lions for their on-field actions during the loss to the New Orleans Saints.
Gentlemen, enjoy. You EARNED them...
TWFE'S NFL WEEK 1 FACEPALM AWARDS
Facepalm #1 - Matthew Stafford: Rookie or not, you throw 3 picks, you get yourself a Facepalm.
Facepalm #2 - Defensive Coordinator Gunther Cunningham: There's a play used by teams having trouble generating a pass rush with only their down linemen. In case you didn't know, it's called a "LINEBACKER BLITZ." It's known to be a quite effective play call, especially when your both your best defensive players and pass rushers are your LINEBACKERS! Come get your Facepalm, please.
Facepalm #3 - Louis Delmas: 15 yard personal foul penalty for throwing a hissy fit, knocking the ball out of Jeremy Shockey's hands after giving up a TD, is stupid. Interfering with a referee, while you are on the SIDELINES, getting yourself another 15 yard personal foul, is..well...stupider! In this case being a rookie is no excuse. TD fumble return be damned, such blatant stupidity will get yourself a Facepalm every time.
Facepalm #4 - Offensive Coordinator Scott Linehan: How do you design an offense which totally ignores your stud number one draft pick, one of the top rated prospects at his position in years, tight end Brandon Pettigrew. Pettigrew did not have a catch, as the ball was NEVER THROWN TO HIM. That's worthy of a Facepalm in my book.
The Special Achievement in Suck Facepalm - The offensive line: Inexcusable false start penalties stalling drives in the end zone. Giving Kevin Smith absolutely no holes to run through. Having three of the highest paid players on the team (Churilus, Backus, Raiola), yet performing at an unacceptable level..a level known as "Suck." The only reason the offensive line doesn't look totally inept is thanks to the Lions defensive line being even worse! Facepalms all around!
The Facepalm of God-Awfulness - The defnesive line: Absolutely no pass rush + Drew Brees having the time to read "War and Peace" in the pocket + Inability stop the run + A 3rd string, journeyman running back rushing for 143 yards = Facepalm
The Just Because Facepalm: William Clay Ford: The 18 consecutive losses are ultimately your own damn fault. I hope you drop your Facepalm Award, and break your richer-than-I-could-ever-imagine-being little toe. Then you might have an small idea as to the pain you've caused fans.
I expect a fresh batch of award winners this Sunday, as hilarity will ensue while the Lions attempt to slow down Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. Should be...excruciating to watch.
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