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Late, but not forgotten: Lions Week 10 Facepalm Awards!
Written by Al Beaton   
Saturday, 21 November 2009 01:09

Facepalm awards!

I realize the Facepalm Awards are a few days late. My apologies. Better late than never, right? Right. On with the awards!

The "What are you trying to do, KILL somebody?" Facepalm: The Detroit Lions' offensive line

As a group, the Lions' offensive linemen should be charged as accomplices to assault and battery. The victim? Matthew Stafford.

If Stafford has been planted into the Baggiedome turf one more time by the Vikings' pass rush, the charges against the Detroit linemen could have been elevated to negligent homicide. Possibly manslaughter.

Lions fans should have made a citizen's arrest when the team returned to Detroit. Not a cop or judge in Michigan would have held our vigilantism against us. Hell, they would have encouraged it.

Hope you all protect your Facepalms better than you protect your quarterback. He's a tad more valuable.

The "One Hell of a way to guarantee your contract" Facepalm: Jack Williams

How many NFL teams would lose a player for the season on his first play from scrimmage? Only the Detroit Lions.

On Williams' lone defensive play from scrimmage for Detroit, he had to come in cold off the bench. Unfortunately, he also had to tackle Adrian Peterson. He not only whiffed on Peterson, Williams shredded his knee in the process.

Thing is, Williams shouldn't have even been playing on defense. He had to go in for a dinged up Phillip Buchanon, who was unable to get back on the field. Why? Buchanon didn't have enough time to recover from his injury, thanks to Kevin Smith fumbling the ball away on the Lions' first play from scrimmage of the 2nd half.

So thanks to a Lions-esque confluence of events, they lost a player for the season.

I hope you enjoy your Facepalm while rehabbing your knee, Jack.

The "They're called fundamentals for a reason" Facepalm: Jason Hunter

I lost count how many times Lions defensive ends allowed Adrian Peterson (Damn, there's that name again) to bounce off the stack, and get around the corner. The most egregious offender was Hunter. His lack of fundamentals was brought up in my running diary more than a few times.

Here's a typical example.

Peterson takes the handoff left...runs into a pile...slips an attempted tackle the contain man, Jason Hunter...and you know what happens...Peterson has a big opening on the cutback, and strolls into the end zone.

Here's another:

Peterson gets the handoff...cutback, as Jason Hunter, once again, loses contain...and Peterson rumbles all the way to the Detroit 1.

You know, I can see it happening once. Mistakes happen. But allowing the same thing to happen over and over again?

It wins you a Facepalm.

Picard Facepalm

With the Cleveland Browns coming to town Sunday, and the Lions (miraculously) being slight favorites, I'm hoping against hope I won't be handing out another round of Facepalms.

But hope and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee at the corner gas station. Meaning the cynic in me is anticipating the passing out of  Facepalms galore!



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