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GAME INFORMATION

Motor City Kitties vs The Mistake on the Lake

Kickoff : 7:30 p.m. EDT
Stadium: Cleveland Browns Stadium - Couldn't they have been a little more creative?
Television: WWJ-TV 62 (CBS) Local only, at least it isn't tape delayed, right? They better have fixed their replay machines, as replay video was so jerky last week, I started having seizures!
Play-By-Play: Matt  "Ol' Shep, marooned on the butchered WDFN" Shepard
Color: Desmond "Another Heisman winner who was a bust as a pro" Howard
Sidelines: Charlie "I'm in the HOF, bitches" Sanders & Steve "Does anyone other than right wingnuts listen to WJR anymore?" Courtney
Lions Radio Network Flagship: 97.1 FM The Ticket (WXYT-FM) "It's not sports talk, it's guy talk!"
Play-By-Play: "Dapper" Dan Miller
Color: Jim "Witnessed more bad football in '08 than any normal human could possibly tolerate" Brandstatter
Sidelines: Tony Ortiz
2009 Preseason Records: Lions, 1-0; Browns 0-1- Lions are on a 5 game exhibition winning streak!
2008 Records: Lions, 0-16; Browns 4-12 - Going by the records, we're going to see some UGLY football tonight.

Lions injuries
(via Roar Report): Out tonight are WR Calvin Johnson, TE Brandon Pettigrew, K Jason Hanson, RB Allen Ervin, WR Kenny Harris, and TE Casey FitzSimmons.

10 things I'm watching....or at least trying to watch, as it's only an exhibition! (I'm guessing this will be pretty much the same list, whomever you ask)

1. Matthew Stafford

2. Matthew Stafford

3. Matthew Stafford

4. Matthew Stafford

5. Matthew Stafford: Is this kid for real? When can we stop pinching ourselves and start believing what we are seeing? Stafford showed all kinds of potential against the Falcons backups and training camp roster filler, it's time to see what he can do against a true NFL defense. (I know, I know, it's the Browns, but work with me...) We may not know for sure after tonight, but I'd think we'll have a much better idea if John Matthew Stafford, Esq has a chance to be the SAVIOR and lead the Lions to the promised land (or at least to a regular season win) after playing against most of the Browns 1st team defense.

6. Louis Delmas: Tonight Delmas makes his NFL debut after missing the Falcons game with an injury. I've been dying to see the big hitting rookie safety in action. In how many other NFL cities would a rookie's decleating another rookie in camp workouts make headlines? (Freep: Lions' Delmas Lays Big Hit on Teammate, News: Lions Rookie Louis Delmas Returns with Emphasis) I hope he can come even remotely close to living up to the media hype.

7. Aaron Brown: All I'm asking from Brown is to do it again. No, Brown doesn't need to score 2 TD's. But he does need to show he belongs on the field when the big boys are playing. It's one thing to go long against never-gonna-be's, it's another altogether to play well against veteran defenders. For what it's worth, not blowing assignments and getting flagged for 15 yard celebration penalties would go along way towards his making the team.

8. Shaun Smith: SI called Smith the Lions' "most indispensable" player. Really? An inconsistent, hotheaded headcase who has yet to harness his talent, best known for punching out Brady Quinn more than anything he's EVER done on the field, is the player the team can most ill afford to lose? I'll need to see it, to believe it. I'd like to see it, starting tonight.

9. The defense: I just want to see one thing. A 3rd down stop. That's all. Is it too much to ask? My guess is...yes.

10. The over/under on Kerry Colbert dropped passes: If the number is 3, I'm taking the over...

Prediction: Stafford looks great, Delmas' talent gets swallowed up by the black hole of suck that is the Lions' defense, Brown disappoints, Smith is invisible, (It's a metaphor! I do not believe in invisibility, unlike a certain formner head coach), Colbert's stone hands dings Stafford's stats again, and I become bored stiff after the half, dozing off in the 3rd quarter.