| 14 August 2009
Kickoff: Saturday August 14, 4 p.m. EDT
Stadium: Ford Field
Television: WWJ-TV 62/CBS (Local only, and even worse, it's on an 8PM tape delay. Damn moronic and archaic NFL TV policies. Good luck trying to find the game on the NFL Network. Good luck trying to find the NFL Network, period...)
Play-By-Play: Matt Shephard
Color: Desmond Howard
Sidelines: Charlie Sanders & Steve Courtney (I expect all sorts of aggressive, unbiased reporting. //rolls eyes//)
Lions Radio Network Flagship: 97.1 FM The Ticket - WXYT-FM
Play-By-Play: "Dapper" Dan Miller
Color: Jim "Watched more bad football in 2008 than any man has in recorded history" Brandstatter
Sidelines: Tony Ortiz
2008 Records: Lions, 0-16; Falcons 11-5
The 5 things I'm watching:
1. Daunte Culpepper vs. Matthew Stafford: What else would you expect at numero uno? It's the only storyline truly worth keenly watching this early in training camp. Not that there is much to read into who gets the start against the Falcons, as head coach Jim Schwartz named Culpepper the starter for preseason exhibition game one, and Stafford the starter for game two.
Supposedly, Culpepper is rejuvenated in two ways; physically, in losing enough weight to now be compared to blocking tight ends (260 lbs) instead of run stuffing nose tackles (3 bills), and mentally, by being reunited with his former offensive coordinator in the land of Norsemen, Scott Linehan. We'll soon see if the increased mobility and confidence in working with Linehan makes Culpepper a respectable QB, something he wasn't in 2008...or 2007...or 2006...Notice a trend?
As for Stafford, I can't wait to see him play at full speed. We've heard nothing but SUPERLATIVES and RAVES (Yes, always in CAPITAL LETTERS!) about the rookie phenom from the national media, the local beat writers, and most importantly, the Lions themselves. Even if Stafford is going to be playing against backups, never-gonna-bes, wannabes, and training camp roster filler, I want to see if he comes close to living up to both the hype, and his mega-million dollar contract. The Matthew Stafford era finally begins...hopefully with a bang, not with a Joey Blue Skies-esque wimper.
2. The Schwartz's demeanor on the sidelines: We spent the last three years watching Rod "I believe in invisibility" Marinelli butcher the clock, throw the red challenge flag without a hope in Hell of a call being overturned, game planning being only a rumor at best, and non-existent at worst, and all around ineptitude on the sidelines. I want to see...The Schwartz not do any of those things.
3. The defensive line: Can they stop anyone? Your guess is as good as mine, considering Detroit's D-line is a weird combination of old, young, over the hill, unproven, injury riddled and not all that good on paper. I'm so used to seeing the Lions defense give up 3rd down conversion after 3rd down conversion, long TD drive after long TD drive, I'd be happy to see even a modicum of competency from the tackles and ends. Competency isn't too much to hope for, is it?
4. Injuries: The Lions can't afford any. Their roster is thinner than a bulimic Paris Hilton.
5. Not dozing off: That would be about me. Preseason Exhibition games are essentially snoozefests, especially late in the 2nd half when players who will never wear an NFL jersey in anger ever again are on the field. I have no interest in watching 5th string training camp tackling dummies go at it, even if they are wearing the Honolulu blue and silver.
Prediction:
Culpepper looks good, Stafford even better, the Lions defense is one in name only, a work in progress. As for the score, who cares? It's preseason exhibition season, for chrissakes!
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